Child of drug abuser?

I am 27 – my father was a heroin addict. He left when I was very young, athough when he was around, he forgot me at bars, made me cover my eyes while he watched porn, and never showed up to take me places. My mother did her best to put food on the table but because of that, was barely around. It has been a very long time since all of this but I see it surfacing in my relationships. I am always skeptical, anxious, have low self-worth and feel unloveable. Does anyone have any recommended books or websites that can further my insight into my feelings? I just started seeing a counsler and I hope he helps — am I doomed to pushing people I love away forever? I love my bf and feel my "issues" have taken such a huge toll on us and I sink further into my depression and bad feelings of myself. HELP!

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