How do I cope after a divorce?

Sorry for being long.

I got married late in life. I was 34 and she was 27. We couldn’t have kids for some reason so we eventually adopted 4 kids. They are now 10, 8, 7, and 6. Things went pretty good in our marriage till we adopted the last 2 they are biological brother and sister. My ex never wanted to adopt them. She claims I forced her to adopt them. She found out she could still get money each month for these kids because they have emotional problems. She started to be I would say to the point of emotional abuse with them. She finally kicked me out of the house after a fight because I would not punish them the way she wanted them to be punished.

I moves in with my mother who was dying and took care of her till she died. I ended up started therapy and anti depressant. Paxill. It’s been 2 years now and the divorce is finally finalized. I inherited all the credit card debt ,000. My attorney cost me ,000. I still owe him ,000. I will haveto file for bankruptcy.

In the meantime. I work in a hospital my boss and I got into it he wanted me fired. I ended up switching departments and started working the graveyard shift. Part of the divorce I got the kids 35% of the time. My ex wanted me to have them only 10% so I got a pretty good time with them.

My ex still treats the youngest 2 different. Never hugs them or tells them they are loved which she does with the older 2. She also has told them to there face that the girl will be pregnant by the time she’s 15 and the boy will be in a group home by the time he’s 12.

I moved into a condominium 1/2 mile away from the kids. I am renting it. It’s the cheapest place in town. With rent, child support, utilities , phone and car payment(my credit is ruined can’t get another car). With that going out I have no money even for food. Easy solution would be get a second job. I am 17 months away from retiring from the hospital. Last week I was rushed to the emergency room with a perferated colon. Stayed in the hospital for 5 days. They may haveto operate when the colon heals. My ex wouldn’t bring the kids up to see me or give me a call. My boss is being very good to me. I have been calling into work 2-3 times a month for the last 2 months. She is moving me to the afternoon shift next week that way if I need time off work there are more people to cover. Right now I am still very weak I will probably haveto go back part time. There is no way right now to get a part time job. In the meantime I contacted my ex since my visitation hasto change she has agreed to only 1/2 the amount that I used to have with the kids. Meaning 78 hours a month less. I have my attorney helping me with that.

My kids are my entire life. I can’t cope when they are not with me. About a month ago I was to the point of suicide. I know I wouldn’t do it for the kids sake. They changed my depression meds to celexa now. My siblings are mad at me because they want me to let my ex take 100% custody. So I don’t even have them backing me up.

I have so much crap going on and whenever I say it can’t get worse it does. How can I stay above water and not sink. I am to my breaking point again.

Leave a Reply