i need to write a short murder mystery for school. I need feedback and ideas?

Murder Mystery
It was a cold and foggy morning. mist clung to the icy water, thick wisps curling and arching to the dark blue sky before gliding back down to the gently flowing river in a swirling diminutive dance that hid the body of Laura. Floating down the river, her black hair a striking contrast to her seamless white skin. Naked… red ribbons of blood spread and coated her white flesh from a hole in her torso. The precious white a blur of an entity in threat of being overwhelmed by the spreading blood and the perpetual clutch of the murky depths, floated down the river. the gentle current mercifully guided the body through the middle of the river away from the crushing sway of the fishing and trading vessels lined along the wharf, out into the bay.

James woke from his troubled sleep with sweat on his brow. Images of crashing waves and lightning flashed through his mind… memories, the remnants of his dream surfaced and set off a pain from deep inside of him. Patrick, James’s son had drowned a year ago, after a large storm. A fishing boat found his body days later. Anguish took hold and James fought to hold back tears. A crash rang out through the house and James heard sobs muffled by bluestone wall at his head. Niamh (his daughter) was crying in the next room. James took control of himself. He found Niamh on the floor of her room tangled in her sheets, he helped her up, back into bed and sat with her. Providing warmth and his presence until she was asleep. Morning was indistinguishable from night and rain began to fall on the tin roof. No other sound had ever been a more compelling invitation to sleep. James was already half asleep with a head clouded by thoughts of the fights and storms. He only noticed in the back of his mind the missing presence of his wife when he returned to bed.
James woke up that morning, noticing that his wife Laura was not there, it did not overly concern him. She had left before without telling him, to visit her parents. This time however, he could not shake a creeping apprehension, something dark, coming from deep inside of him.
James was on the deck of his fishing boat with his fellow crew. Heading out to the bay. It was a strange day. A warm autumn’s day which was a luxurious rarity in this southerly coastal town. The sea was calm and glassy. Gentle waves pulsing across the ocean, Dark clouds patched the sky imposing a black shade intermittent with golden rays, light rain drops disturbed the smooth water causing ripples to echo against each other. While a warm and placid north wind caressed all it touched. James observed the beauty of the world around him, and could not help but to compare it to the repugnance that human nature could be degraded to, when they saw the body floating in the bay. As his workmates dragged up the body, he realised it was Laura, her body was like a infectious stigma on the beautiful surroundings, not for the sight of her for she was still beautiful, even in death, but finding her murdered… an incredible feeling of loss and sorrow sunk with a pain from James’s chest, down into his stomach and sucked the warmth out of his body. He fell to his knees, he didn’t have the energy or the will to stand or move or do anything else but cry, he touched his head to the planks of the deck and felt the cool smoothness of the wood on his forehead, inconsolable he wept for the loss of his wife, and for the loss of his son, Laura and Patrick, seemingly taken by the merciless sea.

James returned from fishing that day and walked off the docks into the custody of the Police. James picked Niamh up from day care on the way home. They walked hand in hand down the street, Past the train station on Regent Street, Then around the corner to the white bluestone house on Rosebrook Road.
That night James did not sleep. He found it extremely hard to lie still, as if the present situation required his immediate action and inaction was not a comprehensible command for his mind or body to follow. James through a large amount of will power contented himself with brooding over his seemingly unquenchable rage.
In his mind, James thought of the interrogation. James was so intently focused on his internal soliloquy. Weather dreaming or awake he could not tell. Moonlight shone through the window by James bed and illuminated the dying roses along the fence line. Creating an eerie blue light that contrasted sharply from the cloudy red thoughts in James head.

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