i'm TRYING to write a book, and wanted to hear some opinions?

******this is is just a small part,
There was a full moon that night; the light illuminated Leah as she leaned her head on the window glass.
She could still feel the taste of her birthday cake on her mouth, no matter how many times she had brush her teeth already, she could still feel it going down her throat, it tormented her, she didn’t disserve it.
It wasn’t just that miraculously she had survived and they had not, but that the wonderful selfless people they were died, and the selfish self-centred person she thinks herself to be lives.
You couldn’t even sat in the beach and let the water drown you to death…she thought.
I get to have a birthday cake while they don’t even get to breath.
The moonlight caressed her skin, grazing it with delicate fingers, but Leah didn’t noticed, the tears sliding down her face numbed her cheeks.
She sank deep within her thoughts, trapped in a cage built with tears, pain and cold bars made of lead, she was submerging in darkness so bitter and cold it was doubtful she will ever be out of it.
It was like a thin layer of ice and hopelessness surrounding her body and moving through her skin.
Freezing her heart, making her insensible.
And freezing the pain in a stationary moment in which the hours didn’t passed and the tick-tock of the clock was nowhere to be heard.
Her mind and body where both drowning in sorrow, like if all the happiness of the world have been replaced by a choking darkness, miles and miles of suffering, with no way out.
Her absent eyes stared at the beautiful silver moon, there were no clouds in the sky, and a couple of bright stars shined close to the big moon.
Leah’s head slipped on the glass, she leaned her head on her hand and kept staring at the moon without really looking at it.
Fire, the house is burning, dad is shouting, mommy is paralyzed, and Ray is ripping his nails off trying to go pass through the front door, he’s scratching the door, the noise is digging into my skull, his hands bleed, dad screams.
Leah bang her head against the window, making the glass vibrate, she hit it again and again until the images were gone.

She turned around and walked over to the bathroom, her reflection on the mirror caught her interest, she examine herself on the reflective surface; big purple circles underneath her eyes, which where all red and puffy, her hair was all messed up, she had not comb it or taken care of it, her face was pale and a heart-breaking expression took over her face.
She opened the medicine cabinet, shoving aside new toothbrushes, creams and else, looking for sleeping pills or anything that could knock her unconscious for at least a while.
She found nothing.
Brenda had probably moved them, they’ve heard too many stories about people using pills to commit suicide, Leah scoffed, like the idea had never cross her mind, Brenda was smart.
She closed the cabinet shut and walked downstairs, her naked feet barely made sound on the stairs, she turned the upper shelves of the kitchen room upside down. She found what she was looking for at the bottom part of the last shelf.
She took the linden tea out and heated some water.
Leah drank the tea slowly and unenthusiastically, she hoped vainly for the tea to knock her out instantly, to relief her of the burden of her thinking mind for the longest period of time, but truth is, this was just tea, noth-ing but hot water and leaves, and even if it could help in a minimum amount, it’ll never have the desire effect.

Leah sighed and took another sip, the hot drink burned her tongue, but she ignored the pain and sipped again.
She stared at the sink, at the dirty plates on it, the dirty plates with the cake leftovers, and heard a strange scratching noise at her back, the hairs at the back of her neck set on edge.
It’s Ryan, he’s scratching the front door and his nails are coming off, he’s bleeding, but his hands keep scratch-ing, the skin of his hands is tearing apart..
He’s coming in, he’s coming to get me….
Leah’s eyes opened wide, slowly she turned her head around to the sound.
The Neighbour’s cat.
The neighbour’s cat was scratching the window door that led to the back garden.
It was a cat, a grey fat cat, the cat scratched. Not Ryan, but a fat grey cat that belonged to the neighbour.
Her body relaxed, and she slouched back on the chair. There was a clock hanging in top of the sink, between shelves, the clock ticked and the sound it produced was the only thing heard.
Leah closed her eyes and thrown her head backwards.
It was a cat, nothing but a fat cat.
Her eyes were shut, but still images passed in front of her eyes, the kitchen changed and transform into her house, it wasn’t clear anymore but everything disappeared in clouds of smoke.
Tick-tock tick-tock
She opened her eyes and her head was thrown to the front sharply, she drank from the cup of tea and emptied half of it.
She stared at the liquid for a while with a blank stare.

She wondered if it will ever
She wondered if it will ever go away, if things will ever be normal again or at least something closer to normality.

Tick-tock kept the clock ticking, the hours pass, but Leah stood sitting, solid and frozen, staring blankly at the place where the cat had being scratching, the grey cat, the neighbour’s grey and fat cat.
A cat, not Ryan, but a grey fat cat.
Leah drank the rest of her tea, threw the cup in the sink and went shuffling back upstairs.
At the end of the stairs she turned left, walking back to her room.
She heard a noise, or thought she heard one, and the noise, real or imaginary, stopped her.
Lenny…muttered the voice, talking in a lullaby, stretching each syllable, coming from a distant dream. Oh, Lenny…
Another voice joined the first one. Lennnnny…..
The voices put the thin hairs of the back of her neck on edge.
Slowly she turned around, afraid of what she could see, around of facing her mother and Ray, afraid of every-thing.
There was nothing.
******about the grammar, yes its sucks i'm sorry, english is actually my second language and i always seem to be having troubles with it, i tried to write this book in spanish but inside my head everything came out in english…, this is my first book, its part of a series actually, (well at least its supposedly going to be), i'm just asking for feedback, by the way… i'm fifteen years old
i want to know in which ways can i improve my writing, if i need to be more descriptive or if i'm using the same words to much, you know like putting he said: …., and she said:….. instead of using different words, is cuz, i'm afraid, my vocabulary is a little limited, but i'm working on it…


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