jokes ,rate this?

A blonde and a redhead met in a bar after work for a drink, and were
watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from
the Brooklyn Bridge.
The blonde bet the redhead that he wouldn’t jump, and the redhead
replied, "I’ll take that bet!" Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the
blonde gave the redhead the she owed.
The redhead said, "I can’t take this, you’re my friend."
The blonde said, "No. A bet’s a bet. You won the money."
So the redhead said, "Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5
O’clock news, so I can’t take your money."
The blonde replied,… "Well, so did I, but I never thought he’d jump
again!"

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A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel
asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three toed feet?"
The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your
toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand".

"OK" said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I
got these great long eyelashes?"

"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips
through the desert", the camel mother answers.

"Thanks Mom" replies the son. After a short while, the son returns
and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back??"

The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are
there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so
we can go without drinking for long periods."

"That’s great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long
eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store
water, but… Mom?"

"Yes son?"

"Why the heck are we in the San Diego zoo?"

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In Alaska’s National Forests, a tour guide was giving a talk to a
group of tourists about hiking in grizzly bear territory.

"Most bear encounters occur when hikers, being extra quiet along the
trails in hopes of viewing wildlife, accidentally stumble into bears.
The resulting suprise can be catastrophic," he explained.

To avoid this, he suggested that each hiker wear tiny bells on their
clothing to warn the bears of their presence.

"Also," he added, "be especially cautious when you see signs of bears
in the area, especially when you see bear droppings."

One tourist asked, "How do you identify bear droppings?"

"Oh that’s easy," the guide explained, "they’re the ones with all the
tiny bells in them!"

———————————————————-

What was the wordiest dinosaur that ever existed?

Why you keep it on your bookshelf…..a Thesaurus!

———————————————————-

An elephant is drinking out of a river when he spots a turtle asleep
on a log. The elephant ambles over and kicks the unsuspecting turtle
clear across the river.

"Why did you do that?" asks a passing giraffe.

"Because I recognized it as the same turtle that took a nip out of my
trunk 47 years ago."

"Wow, what a memory!" says the giraffe.

"Yes," says the elephant. "Turtle recall."

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