Opinions on my writing?

“What happened?Where am I?” he gasped, thrusting himself onto the firm mattress and holding his head low between his dusty legs. It was a darkened room, the walls were grayish- black with only a view of the corner window lit with sunlight. Nothing seemed familiar to him, he was perplexed and quite weary. The paint was flaking off the walls, bugs were gathering at one corner, and his chest started hurting. He peered into his front and back pockets, and unknowingly seized a rough card.
“My drivers license?” he trudged himself up from the mattress and stood yet more confused. A daunting feeling ran up and down his stiff spine, wondering where he still was. A sink and toilet stood in front of him, stained and almost colorless, he sat down on it.
“Ugh, My chest,” he grasped his shirt and tore it off. Blood stains covered his grimy chest, wounds were present, some still fresh and burning. He whirled the sink knob, and started rubbing the dry blood off his chest.
“Anybody here, anyone please,” he drew in a quick breath, and wrapped the blood stained shirt firmly around his sternum. He glanced around, making sure someone was there to help him. As he glanced some more, he saw a dark and quite large figure appear from behind the bars.
“Quiet down, you fool!” it held a girdle over his broad shoulder and stood holding the black bars within his hands.
“Wh-who are? Where am I?” he babbled, trying to stop the bead of water from running down his face.

So tell me watch you think, I'm a young writer by the way. Grammar mistakes, story line, description please tell me.


Comments are closed.