What the hell is wrong with me, I’m horribly sick to my stomach! (TMI)?

This morning I woke up feeling completely fine, I ate a nice breakfast, got ready for school, and wished my parents good luck on their trip. (they’re flying out to Delaware for a big business thing) Then I watched them drive away and ate two chewy oatmeal raisin cereal bars like i do every morning before hopping on the bus. I’m the first stop the bus makes, and it takes an hour to get to school. I sat down in my usual seat, pretty close to the front, and the bus started. About 10 minutes into the ride I started to sweat. My stomach was rolling and it hurt.10 minutes more and I was farting horrible silent, but deadly smelling gas. By the end of the ride it was as horrible as it could be. I was farting extremely loudly, and it smelled so bad, one kid actually puked when he walked by my row. Then I knew it was going to happen, I ran off the bus and sprinted into school, shoving my head in the nearest trash can. I tried to puke, but nothing would come out. Then, something did, but not where I was expecting. I had been holding in my poop this whole time because I thought I was going to vomit. I totally lost control of my bowels. I had black, watery diarrhea running down my legs. It was everywhere. I ran to the nearest bathroom. I didn’t even make it to a stall I removed my soiled garments and had diarrhea all over the bathroom. It splattered everywhere there was s*** all over the sinks. I felt horrible, so I stayed in the bathroom for all of first period, and then I washed my clothes, put them on, and walked out in the halls about thirty minutes ago and immediately had to come back in and begin vomiting chunky orange into the sink. I finally felt okay enough to grab my laptop and walk to the not ruined bathrooms on the bottom floor of the school where I locked myself in a stall. I’m so sorry, I know this is gross, but I need to know what the hell is wrong with me?
I sat in the bathroom for ten more minutes and my diarrhea went from black, to brown, to yellow, and now it’s thick and chunky green. I’ve been vomiting and diarrhea at the same time, but I made it down to the nurse’s office where she couldn’t let me go home, because no one was available to pick me up from school, but I am allowed to lie in her office the rest of the day

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