Why do my emotions and thoughts take control of me?

Ok so I have this problem. I’ve noticed it now that I’m in a long term relationship. I’ve been dating the same guy for almost 3 years and as most women would say, the first 5-6 months were perfect then reality struck and it’s been complicated. It started with my boyfriend lying and hiding things from me. I use to wonder if it was just because he didn’t really care or took the relationship seriously. At times I felt as though he took advantage of me and my emotions. Well today, a fight broke out. It started last night when his mom was talking about his 21st birthday. Now he assured me that he has no interest in drinking and promised me he won’t, not because I wanted him not to, but because he’s not into it. This was maybe 3-4 weeks ago. His mother said that she was planning a birthday party for him and I thought, Oh cool! He’ll love that. Then she went to say it was going to be out somewhere where there is an open bar. I was like ok, whatever he told me he’s not into that so I had nothing to worry about, But she remedially said well that’s a hard promise to keep, someone may by him a drink, its what you do when your 21, and he’s going to most likely drink. Now at first I was like he said he don’t like it and he don’t want it. But she just kept right on insisting almost to the point where she wanted him to after saying she would rather him not being that his father is an alcoholic. This went on for about 20 minutes and by the end of the conversation, I was back in his room crying. I couldn’t figure out why because he swore he had no interest. But the more it sank in, I kept thinking, he’s going to be with his whole family, there will be an open bar, and pretty much his whole family drinks and loves it…and he will be pressured into it. So after that he kept asking what’s wrong and I couldn’t say because it’s a surprise party. Well we didn’t talk much at all the rest of the night. Today I woke up, still pretty upset and I couldn’t shake the thought. We barley talked all day. Its was 2 hours before he was going to take me home and go to work so I figured I’d better say something because he’s probly wondering why I’ve been so upset. Well that ended up turning into a fight. He kept saying, your letting one thing my mom said upset you, I gave you my word, and that he didn’t get it. Then he went on to say that I had fazes and this was my upset faze. Where I talk and show to much emotion over stupid things. Well that’s truly crushed me. It made me feel so many things. I was truly crushed he’d say that. Well we continued to argue and the last thing said was that the only time he even thinks about alcohol is when I bring it up. That killed me. I seriously felt like and feel like total crap at this point. Maybe 10 minutes after, we left and he dropped me off. We hugged he said he loved me, I said it back, and told him to txt me when he’s at work if he wants. So here I am. I’ve been thinking about it. I do belive I have a problem. I let little things that shouldn’t effect me, effect me, I over react, and I tend to let my emotions fester up so badly then when I try to express them I can’t. I realized that maybe he lied and hid things from me because he simply didn’t want to deal with me. I truly feel like its my fault our relationship is on the rocks and that I am pushing him away. I try not to think of things and let them fester but they always get through and do. I can’t stop it and I don’t know what to do. Every time I try to make it better I make it worse. Every time I say I’m not going to be like that, with in a week or two I do it again. Please, I need help. I don’t know what to do or how to stop myself from doing this. I can seriously say I’m being to hate myself over it because I’ve ruined so many good times between us. I always think the worst of any situation and take it to heart. I know I’m not mentally ill or depressed, I just have trouble controlling my thoughts and emotions and it really does suck. If your going to post anything, please take this seriously. I really need good advice.
the alcohol thing just happend, but i’ve freaked out over stuff like this before. i just need some advice on how to control my thoughts and emotions better. i should have just laughed it off and thought nothing of his mom saying that but i didnt and wish i had. i don’t want to do this again over whatever may be the subject. : (

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