Writer: I need someone to critique my story!!!?

Okay, so here are something first. Please be as cruel as possible. I am spelling Rian like this insead of Ryan, to be different. I am only doing this because I second guess myself a LOT!

The bright sun shined through my window, waking me from a deep sleep. I lie still, looking at my dark blue walls, white ceiling, and listening to my sister and her friends banging around in the kitchen down stairs. I heard the fridge opening and closet, the clinging of bowls, and cabinets being slammed. I imagined the black fridge, the cherry cabinets, and the red bowls. I pushed away the soft blue comforter. I silently got up and walked over to my closet. The tan carpet was warm from the sun. I pulled a black t-shirt and dark blue jeans from their red hangers where they hung. I didn’t worry about socks. I walked to the dark wooden door and pulled it open. My feet touched the cool wooden oak floor. I walked down the spiral staircase, and to the bright kitchen. My sister sat on the dark oak stool, reading the comics. Her straight auburn hair glistened in the sun. Her friend sat beside her, eating Honey Nut Cheerios. Her blond wavy hair shined.
“Good morning, children.” I said, my deep voice broke the silence.
Startled, the girls jumped. I walked in front of the breakfast bar. I laid my arms on the cold granite countertop and smiled. My sister smiled back, a devious smile. Her blue eyes had a look in them, a devious look. She was up to something, and I had to be on my guard. I reached in the cabinet and plucked a red bowl from the stack. It seemed normal. I got my special Special K and the milk. Both seemed normal. I poured the milk and added the cereal. Everything was normal.
“Rian, you wouldn’t take us to the mall would you?” my sister said.
I rolled my eyes and replied, “ Victoria, I do not want to be seen with my thirteen year old sister. Do you want to cramp my style?”
Even thinking these words made me laugh. Victoria’s friend, Anna, giggled. She had had a crush on me ever since she became friends with my sister. I didn’t mind, but things did get kind of awkward sometime.
“Please, Rian. Anna and I really want to go buy this new perfume and get a super cute outfit.”
“ What guy do I have to beat up now?” I said, chewing a bite of cereal.
“Ew. You’re so gross. You totally just spit on me. I don‘t like anyone. Are you going to take us or not?” She asked, her devious smile vanished.
“I guess, if I have too.”
“Geez, don’t sound so excited. Thanks anyways, I love you big bro!”
“Whatever. I’m sure you do.” I mutter, sarcastically.
I picked up my cereal and walked to the living room. I sat down on the soft tan couch. I prayed mom wasn’t up. We were not suppose to eat on it. I grabbed the black remote and turned on the cartoons. I flipped through the channels, but nothing appealed to me. I finally decided on Tom and Jerry. I silently laughed to myself. Would that cat never learn? I finished my cereal and got up to take it into the kitchen. I walked into the kitchen, and the talking between the girls stopped. I slowly walked to the shiny sink and rinsed out my bowl. I dried my hands off and put the cereal up. I could feel their eyes on my neck. It just made me laugh even more. I started to walk out, but stopped at the counter. I smiled really big.
In the girliest voice I could manage I asked, “ So, what were you girls talking about?”
“ None of your business. Why are you even asking, you creep?” my sister replied.
I didn’t like her answer one bit. My smile turned into a frown. My dark brows twitched down, and my tanned face turned into complete anger. I hated it when she thought she could talk to me like this.

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